New Definitions

[Tears_Castle]

Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end a fool on the other.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference: The confusion of one woman multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name women give to their mistakes.


Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.


Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.


Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.


Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."


Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.


Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.


Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.


Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.


Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.