Nothing

[مجد]

It is a very strange feeling to me but a very real one.
The big hole in me it is getting bigger and bigger.
It makes my life not normal it makes me not me
It change my life to the bad situation
I keep laughing and I don't know why
My lips keep smiling with out a reason
I really start to worry about my self
I have no dream because I am afraid of failing
I have no aim in my life
For the first time in my life I feel that living me or die is the same to the all even to my self
I don't care about anything
I love nothing
And the must sad thing I feel nothing
That is a very strange thing more than could you think
Can you suffer this idea you are ain't you are nothing
What ever I said or write I won't get the things which inside to me out
Someone asked me what would you like to be???
It was the must normal question I have ever hear but the must difficult one to me
I thought what do I like to be?? But who I am now???
And why do I have to change??? Does he see me too bad that he wants me to be something else???
Or it is just a kind of conversation???
I was so confused I kept thinking about that question a whole month with no answer
Even this important question I don't care about it now
I was a girl her mind is older than her age but I am getting older and my mind getting older too but in another way that it suppose to be I can't see the happiness it is really something I only now its name
I tried everything to change my life but nothing worked
Maybe I should die maybe I should live I really don't know
But I know that I can't stay like that